1. What do you get a boy for Valentine’s Day?

    (I’ll try and post a recording of this one asap!)

    Roses are red, violets are blue
    But they’re both living things and wouldn’t last in his room
    Chocolate is nice, that much is true
    But he’s lactose-intolerant, so that’s a nasty number two
    I’ve got new underwear and been to the gym
    But I suppose that I also need something tangible I can give to him
    Or I could convince him that there’s nothing wrong
    With settling for sex and another love song

    Oh, I remember the days of girls
    When perfume and jewellery was enough
    But you can’t buy a guy that stuff

    Short of a steak and a BJ, what do you get a boy for Valentine’s Day?
    Especially when you know that he’ll have something amazing planned
    ‘Cause he’s an amazing man
    He can spoil his girl with the entire world of clichéd gifts at his feet
    You just can’t compete, it’s a one-way street on February 14
    When you can’t cook a steak anyway
    And you could give him a BJ anyday

    I might be cute, he might be handsome
    But that won’t get a threesome with Scarlett Johansson
    He’s not into sport, like some other guys
    Can’t buy him tickets to a game and sit there and just shut my eyes
    Cold beer on ice? No, he’s gotta drive here
    I’ve just got forty minutes left until he’ll arrive here
    So I’ll settle for sex and another love song
    That he probably won’t like – what could go wrong?

    Oh, I remember the days of girls
    When perfume and jewellery was enough
    But you can’t buy a guy that stuff

    Short of a steak and a BJ, what do you get a boy for Valentine’s Day?
    Especially when you know that he’ll have something amazing planned
    ‘Cause he’s an amazing man
    He can spoil his girl with the entire world of clichéd gifts at his feet
    You just can’t compete, it’s a one-way street on February 14
    When you can’t cook a steak anyway
    And you could give him a BJ anyday, anyday

    Roses are red, violets are blue
    But chivalry’s dead, and romance too
    That’s all I got – is there something wrong?
    How ‘bout some sex, and I wrote you a song
    It goes…

    Short of a steak and a BJ, what do you get a boy for Valentine’s Day?
    Especially when you know that he’ll have something amazing planned
    ‘Cause he’s an amazing man
    He can spoil his girl with the entire world of clichéd gifts at his feet
    You just can’t compete, it’s a one-way street on February 14

    When you’re short of a steak and your VJ, what do you get a boy for Valentine’s Day?
    Especially when you know that he’ll have something amazing planned
    ‘Cause he’s an amazing man
    He can spoil his girl with the entire world of clichéd gifts at his feet
    You just can’t compete, it’s a one-way street on February 14
    When you can’t cook a steak anyway
    And you could give him a BJ anyday, anyday

    No, it’s something I can’t give you a hand with
    Sorry if I wasted your bandwidth
    Maybe you could make him a sandwich?

     

     songwriting  song  music  valentine's day  lyrics 

  2. plays: 10

    Knight in Shining Armour.

    It’s been a while. Time to post a song. R really liked this one and it’s grown on me since he told me that - it does make me a bit uncomfortable how contingent my view of my own songs is on how other people receive them. 

    It does however have one of my favourite lyrics that I’ve ever written:

    It doesn’t matter if he’s not on horseback/ just as long as he’s not on some other whore’s back.

    I giggled, because I’m self indulgent and retarded like that. Enjoy.  

     

     songwriting  song  music  pop  piano  singing  original 

  3. plays: 10

    Ticket to disaster.

    I wrote this back at the end of year 12 and it’s still to this day one of the best songs I’ve ever written. Not overly happy with the vocals on this recording but it’s a tough song to sing, whinge whinge whinge etc. But hopefully you’ll get the general idea/enjoy the lyrics (as I will always be proud of those). 

    Dedicated to the lovely giraffeswithglasses (do I have any way of tagging this?)

     

     songwriting  song  music  pop  piano  singing 

  4. plays: 10

    She’s got him by the balls.

    Fun fact, R’s Dad actually said this, in regard to us. And thus, a song was born. Though hopefully I’m not as manipulative as this girl. 

    I haven’t decided yet if I find this repetitive/annoying or kinda cool re. having the loop, but it’s the closest thing to a deviation from my normal style that I’ve achieved. For now, maybe the title at least will bring more people to my Tumblr…? 

     

     songwriting  song  music  pop  singing  piano  balls 

  5. plays: 10

    How to make you a sandwich. 

    Please note, I don’t actually hate feminists (Squishie I’m looking at you! I love you!)

    More than anything, this is a bit of a joke (the closest I’ve come to cooking anything at all is probably writing this song), and it’s also part of my birthday present for R :) and everyone should have a sandwich made for them on their birthday (and hopefully a cake too). Enjoy. And girls - you can be anything you want to be.

     

     songwriting  song  music  pop  piano  singing  sandwich 

  6. plays: 30

    Mine in the Morning.

    Don’t mind me, just testing out the ukulele. My first song on it, and the uke playing is reasonably tragic - just know I’m aware of that!

    The song was on piano originally, but I realised (with R’s advice) that it took itself just a little too seriously on piano. So I thought uke might ham up the twee side of it, and now I actually like it better on uke (assuming someone more practised were to be playing the backing).

    This song is about taking a relationship one day at a time, and trying to enjoy every minute instead of dreaming of what might be - something I do a little too often!

     

     songwriting  song  music  ukulele  singing 

  7. plays: 40

    Old Toys. 

    Something I’ve been writing these past two weeks that excites me greatly, as it’s so nice to have something to say other than “I love you” or “I love you, but…”
    This is very much a true story, with names changed for intertextual/allegorical purposes. Lyrics are below, too, as I feel they’re important in this song.

    —-

    Peter Pan sits with a cardboard  box on his lap

    Puts inside the fairy dust, a shadow and a kiss, and a Neverland map

    Wendy’s waiting patiently at their front door, holding a garbage bag

    And she offers him a hand with the old toy box ‘cause his feet are starting to drag

    He says, ooh Wendy, the Nintendo’s not going out

    He says, ooh Wendy, will you put my Lego down?

    And it’s a sad, sad way to spend a Saturday

    Preparing a house for a coming-of-age

    But when he loses the will, she looks at him as if to say

    All boys have to grow up

    They have to grow up, when they turn twenty

    And old toys have to move on

    Have to get thrown out when they get dusty

    When they get rusty

    Wendy makes a joke that she can finally see the carpet, and she didn’t know the colour was cream

    But Peter doesn’t hear her ‘cause he’s playing Tamagotchi, and humming the chorus of a cartoon theme

    He says, ooh Wendy, well we never got to catch ‘em all

    He says, ooh Wendy, baby, when did I get to be six feet tall?

    And it’s a sad, sad way to spend a Saturday

    Preparing a man for his coming-of-age

    But when he loses the will, she looks at him as if to say

    All boys have to grow up

    They have to grow up, when they turn twenty

    And old toys have to move on

    Have to get thrown out when they get dusty

    The second star will still be there, even though these old toys have to move on

    Have to get thrown out when they get rusty

    You forgot those mythical creatures, to make way for books and teachers

    You moved onto forgotten Friday nights, and University and e-book readers

    So make way for suits and ties, and waking up for 3am feeds and cries, and

    Keep moving on, make way for me

    Make way for me

    All boys have to grow up

    They have to grow up, when they turn twenty

    And old toys have to move on

    Have to get thrown out when they get dusty

    The second star will still be there, even though these old toys have to move on

    Have to get thrown out when they get rusty

    Make way for me

     

     songwriting  song  music  lyrics  pop  piano  singing  vocals  singers 

  8. plays: 30

    Wine Over Water. 

    Here’s something I wrote over three years ago at sixteen, but I’m still really happy with it - which is odd for me, as I tend to hate most songs I write when I wake up the next morning. Let me know if you like it, reblog it even (I dare you!). 

     

     song  songwriting  pop  music  piano  singing  singers