(I’ll try and post a recording of this one asap!)
Roses are red, violets are blue
But they’re both living things and wouldn’t last in his room
Chocolate is nice, that much is true
But he’s lactose-intolerant, so that’s a nasty number two
I’ve got new underwear and been to the gym
But I suppose that I also need something tangible I can give to him
Or I could convince him that there’s nothing wrong
With settling for sex and another love song
Oh, I remember the days of girls
When perfume and jewellery was enough
But you can’t buy a guy that stuff
Short of a steak and a BJ, what do you get a boy for Valentine’s Day?
Especially when you know that he’ll have something amazing planned
‘Cause he’s an amazing man
He can spoil his girl with the entire world of clichéd gifts at his feet
You just can’t compete, it’s a one-way street on February 14
When you can’t cook a steak anyway
And you could give him a BJ anyday
I might be cute, he might be handsome
But that won’t get a threesome with Scarlett Johansson
He’s not into sport, like some other guys
Can’t buy him tickets to a game and sit there and just shut my eyes
Cold beer on ice? No, he’s gotta drive here
I’ve just got forty minutes left until he’ll arrive here
So I’ll settle for sex and another love song
That he probably won’t like – what could go wrong?
Oh, I remember the days of girls
When perfume and jewellery was enough
But you can’t buy a guy that stuff
Short of a steak and a BJ, what do you get a boy for Valentine’s Day?
Especially when you know that he’ll have something amazing planned
‘Cause he’s an amazing man
He can spoil his girl with the entire world of clichéd gifts at his feet
You just can’t compete, it’s a one-way street on February 14
When you can’t cook a steak anyway
And you could give him a BJ anyday, anyday
Roses are red, violets are blue
But chivalry’s dead, and romance too
That’s all I got – is there something wrong?
How ‘bout some sex, and I wrote you a song
It goes…
Short of a steak and a BJ, what do you get a boy for Valentine’s Day?
Especially when you know that he’ll have something amazing planned
‘Cause he’s an amazing man
He can spoil his girl with the entire world of clichéd gifts at his feet
You just can’t compete, it’s a one-way street on February 14
When you’re short of a steak and your VJ, what do you get a boy for Valentine’s Day?
Especially when you know that he’ll have something amazing planned
‘Cause he’s an amazing man
He can spoil his girl with the entire world of clichéd gifts at his feet
You just can’t compete, it’s a one-way street on February 14
When you can’t cook a steak anyway
And you could give him a BJ anyday, anyday
No, it’s something I can’t give you a hand with
Sorry if I wasted your bandwidth
Maybe you could make him a sandwich?
